Why don’t cats play poker in the jungle?
Too many cheetahs.
Did you hear about the cat who accidently swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.
Why is the cat so grouchy?
Because he’s in a bad mewd.
What do cats like to eat for breakfast?
Why did the cat run from the tree?
Because it was afraid of the bark!
How do cats end a fight?
They hiss and make up.
What does a cat like to eat on a hot day?
A mice cream cone.
What do you call a cat that lives in an igloo?
Did you hear about the cat who swallowed a ball of wool?
She had mittens.
What is the name of an unauthorized autobiography of the cat?
Hiss and Tell.
What is a moggy’s favourite color?
What do you use to comb a cat?
Why is it so hard for a leopard to hide?
Because he’s always spotted.
What is a cat’s way of keeping law & order?
What do you call the cat that was caught by the police?
What do cats like to put on their potatoes?
Catsup, of course!
Sorry for the puns – I was just kitt’en.
How many cats can you put into an empty box?
Only one. After that, the box isn’t empty.
If lights run on electricity and cars run on gas, what do cats run on?
What is the difference between a cat and a comma?
One has the paws before the claws and the other has the clause before the pause.
How did a cat take first prize at the bird show?
He just jumped up to the cage, reached in, and took it.
Cats are like potato chips.
You can never have just one.
I got rid of my husband.
The cat was allergic.
Have you ever seen a catfish?
No. How did he hold the rod and reel?
What did the 500 pound mouse say to the cat?
Here kitty, kitty. Here kitty, kitty.
A SMART CAT
Maria visits Mike and is amazed to find him playing chess with his cat. She watches the game in astonishment for a while.
Finally she says, “Wow! You’ve got a smart cat”.
Rob replies, “Nah, he’s not so smart. I’ve beaten him twice already.
Maria, “I should hope so! How many games have you played?”
MORE SMART CATS