I had developed a hole in my blue jeans. Not exactly a priority, but last Saturday I cycled to the local swap meet to buy a new pair.
Well, I tried several of them that looked like they would fit, and even tried a few that I knew were too wide for me, just to check out the color and material that were not available in smaller sizes.
And none of them fit. They were too wide, too tall, too hot, or had too many holes. Not to mention all the bad choices in color (think orange blue jeans – doesn’t even make sense!)
I supposed this could be a metaphor. You see, I’ve never been part of mainstream society. I’ve tried, and tried, to fit in. It’s just because I am different, way different. Out of step with the rest of humanity.
Let’s start with gender and gender roles. I am a male. I skinny and slender one at that too. Size 30-32 in pants sizes. You won’t too much girth around my waistline. And don’t go looking for big muscles, either. You won’t find any. I do work out, but the exercises seem to keep me a skinny person (with sore muscles).
A typical (or perhaps more accurately, a stereotypical) male smokes, drinks, plays contact sports (even more if it is a team event), swears, cusses, and defines a seven course meal as a fried chicken with a six pack of beer.
I’m not that type of male.
Instead I would rather run, swim, type on my laptop, play board games, and eat ice cream. Not exactly a typical male, I would say (oh, dear, I’m starting to sound like Yoda again!)
I am also left handed. Not just a lefty, but very lefty. Most lefties do occasionally use their right arm for minor things. I don’t.
Right-handers, you don’t know how fortunate you are! Lefties are not allowed to play polo (too dangerous), martial art classes always, always use a right-handed stance. Slot machines, voting machines, most scissors, writing books, writing utensils, and coffee cups are made with right-handers in mind.
And every single computer I’ve used at work and school, and at the library are set-up for right-handers. I physically have to change the mouse and occasionally the monitor so I can use the computers.
I like go to barefooted and even can run barefooted. Unusual, perhaps. But I’ve gotten ugly stares and comment from podophobes.
Like, “Please cover your feet – they look ugly to me”. Of course, I could always say, “If I cover my feet, will you cover your head?” But I’m a nice guy so I don’t make too many rude comments.
Or, “I can see your toes”. And I’ve been tempted to reply with, “Great you know what toes are. Can you count to 10 as well?” But again, I’m a nice guy so I don’t make too many rude comments.
I don’t follow a religion. I prefer to place a person over a god and people over a pantheon. So, even if a god was to tell me to strike a person, I would decline his (or is it her?) authority. How many people would actually think about this?
I am reasonably (ok, very!!) intelligent. I like to play chess (I’m fairly good at it), Scrabble (I’m only pretty good at it), read literature, and actually like to talk about a number of fascinating things; like the brain, politics, religion (s), morality, war, history, psychology, etymology, and why the Classical Version of the Nimzo-Indian is not played more often.
But far too often, most conversations are not anywhere close to that level. Instead people my age want to talk about the Kardashians or other trivial time-wasting topics. I am willing to settle for Star Trek, or themes and symbolisms in movies, pop music, or novels. I am even willing to listen to a new lawyer joke (I’m not a lawyer, but I have several friends who are, and they tell good ones!)
So what to do?
This Saturday I will again look for a pair blue jeans at the swap meet.