CAT TALK

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You can be a painter, an artist, a singer, a writer, a journalist, a comic or humorist, an actor, a student, a teacher, a scientist, a philosopher, a psychologist, a king, a queen, prince or princess,  an emperor, a religious person, an agnostic, or an atheist, and still be a good cat lover.

 

And there is some evidence that a cat’s meow is the result of cats trying to communicate with their large bipedal friends who feed them and give them a place to sleep and keep warm.

 

We just haven’t figured out what they are trying to say.

 

But we know what their large bipedal mammalian friends say about them.

 

~~~~~~~~

 

“I wish I could write as mysterious as a cat.” ― Edgar Allan Poe

“When my cats aren’t happy, I’m not happy. Not because I care about their mood but because I know they’re just sitting there thinking up ways to get even.” ― Percy Bysshe Shelley

“I would like to see anyone, prophet, king or God, convince a thousand cats to do the same thing at the same time.”
― Neil Gaiman

“Never try to outstubborn a cat.”
― Robert A. Heinlein, Time Enough for Love

“I woke up in bed with a man and a cat. The man was a stranger; the cat was not”
― Robert A. Heinlein, The Cat Who Walks Through Walls

“Of all God’s creatures, there is only one that cannot be made slave of the leash. That one is the cat. If man could be crossed with the cat it would improve the man, but it would deteriorate the cat.” ― Mark Twain

“If animals could speak, the dog would be a blundering outspoken fellow; but the cat would have the rare grace of never saying a word too much.” ― Mark Twain

“The main difference between a cat and a lie is that a cat only has nine lives.” ― Mark Twain

“To bathe a cat takes brute force, perseverance, courage of conviction – and a cat. The last ingredient is usually hardest to come by.” ― Stephen Baker

“Cats’ hearing apparatus is built to allow the human voice to easily go in one ear and out the other.” ― Stephen Baker

“To err is human, to purr is feline.” ― Robert Byrne, The 2,548 Best Things Anybody Ever Said

“When Rome burned, the emperor’s cats still expected to be fed on time.” ― Seanan McGuire, Rosemary and Rue

“Rousseau pounced. Men who dislike cats were tyrannical: “They do not like cats because the cat is free and will never consent to become a slave.” ― Robert Zaretsky, The Philosophers’ Quarrel: Rousseau, Hume, and the Limits of Human Understanding

“Dogs have hair. Cats, fur.
Dogs whine, yip, howl, bark. Cats purrr.
I say: No contest.”
― Lee Wardlaw, Won-Ton: A Cat Tale Told in Haiku

“Guilt isn’t in cat vocabulary. They never suffer remorse for eating too much, sleeping too long or hogging the warmest cushion in the house. They welcome every pleasurable moment as it unravels and savour it to the full until a butterfly or falling leaf diverts their attention. They don’t waste energy counting the number of calories they’ve consumed or the hours they’ve frittered away sunbathing.

Cats don’t beat themselves up about not working hard enough. They don’t get up and go, they sit down and stay. For them, lethargy is an art form. From their vantage points on top of fences and window ledges, they see the treadmills of human obligations for what they are – a meaningless waste of nap time.”
― Helen Brown, Cleo

“It’s 8a.m. and time to rest
It’s 10a.m. and time to relax
It’s noon and time for repose
It’s 3p.m. and time for shut-eye
It’s 6p.m. and time for siesta
It’s 9p.m. and time to slumber
It’s midnight and time to snooze
It’s 4a.m. and time to hang upside down from your bedroom ceiling, screaming.”
― Francesco Marciuliano

“A cat is only technically an animal, being divine.” ― Robert Lynd

“If you’re curious, you’ll probably be a good journalist because we follow our curiosity like cats. ― Diane Sawyer

“You can’t look at a sleeping cat and be tense.” ― Jane Pauley

“When I played in the sandbox, the cat kept covering me up.” ― Rodney Dangerfield

“The clever cat eats cheese and breathes down rat holes with baited breath.” ― W. C. Fields

“Lettin’ the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier ‘n puttin’ it back in.” ― Will Rogers

“Meow” means ‘woof’ in cat.” ― George Carlin

“A fish tank is just interactive television for cats.” ― Oliver Gaspirtz, A Treasury of Pet Humor

“People who hate cats, will come back as mice in their next life.” ― Faith Resnick

“Time spent with cats is never wasted.” ― Sigmund Freud

“If a dog jumps into your lap, it is because he is fond of you; but if a cat does the same thing, it is because your lap is warmer.” ― Alfred North Whitehead

“Owners of dogs will have noticed that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they will think you are god. Whereas owners of cats are compelled to realize that, if you provide them with food and water and shelter and affection, they draw the conclusion that they are gods.”
― Christopher Hitchens, The Portable Atheist: Essential Readings for the Nonbeliever

“Indeed, organizing atheists has been compared to herding cats, because they tend to think independently and will not conform to authority. But a good first step would be to build up a critical mass of those willing to ‘come out,’ thereby encouraging others to do so. Even if they can’t be herded, cats in sufficient numbers can make a lot of noise and they cannot be ignored.”
― Richard Dawkins, The God Delusion

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